Do People Change?

People are forever in the process of becoming who they are.

What this means is that you have a life, an identity, a self with all of its inherent limitations and possibilities. You evolve, usually in an adventitious way. Who you are determines who you will become – unless you make disruptive choices.

Neither hope not desire can change the logic of this process. Only choices implemented under adversity can. What you cannot change about yourself is therefore a person you cannot become.

You may want to change, you may want to make changes in others or in the rest of the world. But the forces of stasis – of things remaining as they are – will resist you.

If you would change yourself in any significant way – even if it is deemed necessary to do so – would require forces for change on your part greater than the impersonal forces intending to continue you to evolve as you are. In short, becoming who you are is more powerful than becoming who you might choose to be.

It isn’t so much that people resist change, as the media often present it.  It is simply that people are likely to prefer the familiar over the unknown.  We all have our comfort zones – mentally, emotionally, and physically. It’s easier and less risky to keep things the way they are.

At mid-life, try changing your handwriting, or the routines you employ in driving, and your taste in wine. It is the rituals of our days that enable us to think of ourselves as still being who we are. To abandon them would be tantamount to abandoning oneself. Not a comfortable prospect.

Don’t settle for whatever comes your way. Decide your destiny and how you have to change to pursue it. Decide what kind of other people could enable you to do life as you would.   Be a warrior against the arbitrary forces (the dragons of the contemporary world you inhabit) that will otherwise victimize you.

-Lee Thayer, Thought-Leader


Are you evolving in the right direction?

If you accept who you are, do you limit your ability to change?

Why would adversity be important in the process of choosing who one becomes?

Can you change others?

-Joelle Moles, Institute Mentor